This study aims to understand interpersonal communication and the development of the structure of the relationship between husband and wife in three marriage pairs with a modern Javanese background. The approach uses a qualitative approach. While the research method uses Alfred Schutz's version of the phenomenological method. The results of this study found that communication that took place in the premarital period (dating) was less productive in gaining knowledge about the partner, and resulted in problems after marriage. In the first 5 years of marriage, problems develop to affect the husband-wife relationship, to the point of developing conflict or hostile relations, as a result of economic problems. The conflict subsided after the husband communicated an apology and a promise to remedy the situation. Negotiations took place to agree on continuing the marriage relationship. The wife's efforts to continue the husband-wife relationship structure as applied in her parents' family were rejected by the husband who chose an equal relationship structure between husband and wife.The results of this study can provide a conceptual picture of the relationship between husband and wife with different ethnic backgrounds. Subsequent research needs to explain more deeply that is extended to more than one married couple so that the research findings are more varied and dynamic.

Keywords : Communication, Relationships, Family, Husband, Wife, Social, Culture.